I hate talking money. Hate is typically a word I try to stay away from but, y’all, I hate talking money.
Whenever I talk to clients about payment my heart races and I even start to second guess my worth. Maybe I’m charging too much. Do you think they will walk away and go to someone else? Maybe I’m not good enough to charge that.
It’s a hard mindset to break but when you do it is so freeing. Sure, I get upset when a client goes to someone cheaper but I remind myself that they have every right to go so someone else. I have worked hard, invested in my business, and I am worth it.
Okay, got it.
Buuuuuuut. Yes, you knew it was coming.
But what about family and friends? I know my worth but shouldn’t I give a discount? I can’t charge my mom! What about my best friend!? What should I do?!
Well, here is what I do. I know it won’t work for everyone but I still thought I’d share.
When it comes to friends, I still charge full price. Yes, I gift sessions all the time because I absolutely love too, but if your friends value you and want quality, they won’t ask for a discount. This is just me. If you feel inclined to offer a friends discount, good for you! There is nothing wrong with running your business the best way you see fit, but I hope you don’t feel pressured to do so. 🙂
Now, in regards to family… it is tough. I admit I feel like I have been undervalued by family and it stings, but I’ve found when it comes to problems with my photography business and family, it stems from 2 things:
- Education: When a family member asks for a “few quick photos” they may not realize how much goes into it. They know you do it for a living and may assume it’s not super complicated to grab a couple photos at a get together. What they may not take into consideration is how much you have invested in your gear & education, how long it may take to edit, how much it cost to host the images online so they can download high resolution files, and so many other behind the scenes things they just simply don’t see. It’s little things that may frustrate you but if you don’t stop to explain to them all that goes on behind the scenes they (may) mean no harm. If you don’t want to be recruited to take photos, leave your camera at home. Easier said than done I know, but hey, it’s a starting point.This year I took one photo Christmas day with my big fancy camera. Here it is. I propped my camera up on my step-dad’s truck and got this gem. I wanted to take this photos because it is important to me and I know it is important to my family – you see, we have gotten a photo in front of this house every Christmas since my nanny bought it in 2008. After this, I left my camera in the car and I enjoyed Christmas without fretting over taking photos on my professional camera – I got lots of iPhone photos 😉
- Expectation: You are family, shouldn’t you want to use your talents? My mom bought me my first two SLRs and dropped a ton of money on my days in the darkroom, so I never say no to Mom…. But where do you draw the line? As of last year, I made mine pretty clear. I limit my free sessions to immediate family, which for me includes my mom, sister, mother-in-law, grandmothers, & sister-in-law. Now I will add, my sister is an amazing calligrapher so I have her create things for me in exchange & my sister-in-law is a groomer, so my Cairn terrier is the cutest on the block, so I benefit as well 😉 This is what works best for me and makes my heart content. Let me also mention it has not always been like this and I’m still working hard on maintaining the boundaries.
It is up to YOU to manage expectations. You shouldn’t blame your family if you don’t explain to them your boundaries. Are there exceptions? Of course! I personally can’t live with rigid rules all of the time because that isn’t any fun, but as a business owner you are in charge of how you spend your time and talent.
So, you may be thinking, “ok, Mary… but how do I do educate or manage expectations with my family & friends?” If you feel like you need to talk with a family member or friend about your business be sure to pick the right moment & simply share with them your heart. It may be uncomfortable or it may end well. Either way, I’m cheering for you.
I just want to say that you are not alone. Family can make owning a business difficult especially if you don’t educate them and manage their expectations. Will there still be times you still feel undervalued – yes. Are you still going to show up to a family reunion and be the designated photographer – probably. Should you have them sign a contract – it’s not a bad idea. But you are a business owner and it is important to establish boundaries.
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